Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Friday, January 15, 2010

Rampage Killings ...

Just say words like Columbine, Ft. Hood, and even here in Orlando this week and the mind can quickly conjure up some image of a crazy gun nut shooting anyone he can find. The news media calls it Rampage Killings as if in a moment of sheer rage a person begins to kill anyone around them. But that is not really the whole story is it? The next invariable question is – why. The viewer needs to know why the gun-toting nut bag went off the deep end (so to speak). Could it be road-rage, recently unemployed, recently divorced badly, etc. etc. ?

The problem with this thinking is that it buys into the premise that this horrific act was singular in nature. Someone snaps, and let the chaos commence. But that is seldom true isn’t it? Time elapses; quite a bit of it usually between the source stressing factor, and the time of the carefully planned “revenge”. You can hardly call something a rampage which implies spur-of-the-moment, that takes days or weeks to prepare for. Think of it, entire days go by, with the same nut bag meticulously plotting the how’s, where’s, and when’s for his little attention grabbing hissy-fit. People, most of which the killer may not even really know, will die all in the effort of what? – soothing your pain? Easing your suffering? Where does the bloodshed in these events accomplish anything of real value?

And why does the news media fan the flames of these tragedies so insuring there will be future such events? If these killings got a 2 minute summary coverage once on the primetime news spots they would all end. I don’t say this because people will become less nutty. I say it because people would realize that even their most extreme horrific antics do not warrant the attention they seek. If you handled news stories in this way, and combine your approach with giving extensive coverage to people who serve others – I dare say the model of society might just turn over on its head. Positive reinforcement without creating super-villains that hog ALL the news coverage for days on end might just put a stopper in the process. To say nothing of allowing the victim’s families, friends, and communities to grieve without a barrage of reminders of just how horrible the event was – replaying footage over and over again.

But make no mistake the motives behind every single killing of this nature is ultimately the same – self interest. Killers may not seek financial rewards, obviously they realize social inclusion after this event is impossible, but in the blood thirsty act they believe they can satisfy their selfish need for revenge (they call it “justice”). You see in the minds of the killers, they believe it is they who have been wronged. The actions they take are nothing more than what is required in their minds to right the wrongs they have incurred. They think of it as “getting even”; though we outsiders look at it as shear madness.

And truth be told, the killers have often been wronged. The Columbine killers were social outcasts. No one was seeking them out for friendship, and in fact were likely making their day-to-day lives less easy than more easy. Everyone thought it to be OK to simply ignore the plight of others unless it directly impacts you. Leave the nut bags alone and maybe they won’t bother you. But isolation is hardly the solution for social awkwardness. And had these 2 students been surrounded by an atmosphere of true Christian love and acceptance they might have had alternative ideas to hate that ends up taking lives. We are quick to blame them for the deeds they did commit, but seldom look beyond them to see if we might have been instrumental in guiding them away from their heinous crimes.

What killers do, represents the epitome of self-indulgence. They focus on thoughts of pure self-gratification through means most of us call insane, and most importantly to the exclusion of how ANYONE else will feel about what they have done. They are out for themselves, no one else. In Ft. Hood this week the accused killer appears to have been an extreme Muslim who yelled God is Great in Arabic prior to shooting. Indeed God is great, what has that to do with the level of selfishness you are about to employ? Anger with an idea, vented in bullets to those who have done you no harm, what could this be other than pure self-indulgence. And to call God’s name into it? Blasphemy.

The Muslims believe they serve the God of Abraham. If this is so, then they must realize how God felt about Cain killing his brother Abel. Even the life of Abraham itself is one of patience faith and long suffering. Abraham did not achieve God’s promise of the Promised-Land it two minutes. It took time. It took effort. And God was faithful, not by Abraham simply killing anyone and everyone who did not like what he was doing. By a Muslim’s own belief system the shedding of innocent blood is strictly forbidden. And to do it in God’s name defines Blasphemy even in their own belief system.

No, religion is not to blame for these heinous acts, it is pure self-indulgence. And ironically religious people somehow believe that a certain amount of self-indulgence is OK in our lives. It is as if we could accept a certain amount of plutonium in our food and ignore the effects of its poisonous nature. We accept self-indulgence if we can balance it with temperance (another failed idea). But like eating plutonium will surely give us cancer, accepting self indulgence will certainly lead us to evil. We may not climb high-rises and begin opening up fire on former co-workers, but we may flirt with the idea of having an illicit affair, or stealing from an employer, or simply compromising our values for expediency.

Christians should know they are not to have the role of “judge” in the courtroom of the Lord. That role only God Himself can handle. Defending attorney belongs to Jesus, the jury or mere courtroom attendees may be the unfallen angels, Satan is our accuser, and of course we are the defendants. And we are ALL guilty as charged. None of us are clean or stand perfect against the truth of Satan’s list of evil we have embraced in our lives. However our attorney steps forward and accepts the sentence for our crimes. We must allow Him to do so, or suffer the fate we deserve. Nowhere in the entire scenario do humans ever play the role of sanctioned “executioner”. Christians who commit heinous acts of killing are merely committing evil, not involved in anything remotely related to righteousness. It is not our role to kill by intent.

Arguments can be made about killing in different circumstances like in self-defense, to save others, in times of war, etc.. You can debate the merits of lack of them under these conditions, but nut bag killers are deserving of no such debate. They simply act in a mode of pure self-interest, which they have generally nourished for a while before committing their crimes. In order for the moment to be truly unplanned, it would require being already armed for a different legitimate purpose, encountering a situation that is beyond the mental capacity of the killer to accept, then taking action without thinking about anyone’s safety or wellbeing including their own. If they have to go home to get the weapon, it is premeditated. If they have time to cool down and do not do so, it is premeditated. If they can act and still be cognizant enough to preserve their own safety. It is premeditated. Just like all the sin in our lives today – it is premeditated.

Our God looks on in horror and GREAT sadness when these events occur. His heart breaks when people use His name or question if it was His will that these things happened at all. But our God sees beyond the existence of this world, and takes account of our lives beyond the scope that we can see. Even when our time in this existence is over, perhaps ended by the free-will choice of another nut bag, our entire existence is not over with these acts of evil. Having accepted the gift He offers, we are sure to resume our existence in a world made new, and devoid of all evil, of every pain, and most of all – absent self completely. Service will be our mantra, and love our method of existence. Praise God our hope is not confined or controlled by the nut bags we are surrounded by …

Friday, November 13, 2009

My Heart Is Shattered ...

The pain that evil has brought with it into this world feels sometimes simply unbearable. When feeling the sting of love that is NOT returned our hearts melt, our tears flow, and our understanding is often baffled. When the object of our love is no longer on this earth and therefore unable to return our love for now, we feel a loss akin to no other. But when we choose to love and are plainly rejected it is our thinking that takes the hit. We wrestle with questions that have no answers. Why would the person of our affections not want to bathe in the love we would offer? Why are our motives questioned? Why are our deeds ignored? What did we do to cause this?

When I think of the sadness that has directly impacted my own life from evil, I am astounded that often I have been the center of it all. I have been the reason for my own pain. Bad choices. Gratifying short term desires while truly killing long term fundamentals. Treating others as objects of conquest rather than precious treasure of association. My apathy and simple disinterest in the pain of others has led me to a very narrow self interested set of priorities, and my friendships with others suffer as a result. Cherishing privacy is tantamount to avoiding the world and its need. But see for a minute through His eyes, and the revelations about my own deficiencies spring forth off the map.

And that is when it hit me like never before … see the effects of evil for just a minute through His eyes. Imagine the pain our Lord must feel as He watches the events of our lives unfold. Forget for a minute that He longs to help us avoid causing ourselves such horror; He must deal with our constant rejection of His love as well. He must ask all the same questions we ponder, and be even more mystified by the lack of real answers for our rejection. I cannot imagine what it must be like for a parent to personally witness the murder of one of his children by another. I cannot imagine what it must be like to see the raping and torture that one brother does to another, or one brother does to his very own sister. Yet God can, because He sees it every day.

And who is He supposed to love? Just the victims of evil? The murdered, the raped, the abused? For are we ALL not equally victims of evil, as well as the perpetrators of these crimes? Is not our hate just as painful to Him. Is not our rejection of His constant offers to solve our problems supremely more painful to Him, as He truly is the ONLY one with real solutions for us? To grieve as He grieves is more than the human heart can bear. To see the effects of evil, the insidious disease that kills good as its primary goal, to witness it spread and take root, even in the hearts of those who call themselves His servants, His followers, that take on His very name – Christ-ians. It must be so much more sadness than we can even begin to measure.

We think we know something of rejection. Most of us have experienced it at least romantically. But He experiences it as way more than a mere jilted lover or spouse. He experiences it as our Father, our Family, our Brother, our Savior, and our Friend. We turn Him away though He gives us the life we have, the very air we breathe. He must watch us, as we direct our will into the evil it seeks, and then suffer with us as the effects of evil wreak their toll. To grieve as He grieves is more than humanity was meant to know. It is what broke the very heart of Christ while on the cross of our redemption.

But it is not empathy with God for the sadness He feels that truly shatters my heart. It is not the pain I have endured, or more often caused myself, that was capable of breaking this heart of stone. More recently I have discovered a new phenomenon in Christianity and in myself that broke me and my heart on the rock of the Lord. Not to grieve as He grieves, but to glimpse love as He loves. More than all the effects of evil combined with all the sadness it brings, it was a brief glance at love through pure eyes that shattered my cemented heart. To watch what love can do for another, is to bring my pride to tears.

I have lived my life for years following the edicts of society that men rarely if ever show great sadness. To see a man cry is debilitating at best, to see it in the mirror is dumbfounding. And even more astounding, is to see it in the eyes, and in the hearts, of other Christian men who appear to be discovering the same phenomenon the same way at the same time. Not only is my own heart shattered, and now I am moved to tears when I see His love enacted or reflected in the world around me; I see the same response from those “strong” souls I am acquainted with in the church.

Men who have no reason to break. Men who have no history of demonstrating deep emotion. Men, and yes some women as well, are responding the impact of the love of Christ is a completely vulnerable way. It is deeply humiliating to shed tears in front of another, let alone in front of those who you barely know. And it is even harder to explain when the cause for tears is not based in depression, circumstances, or the infliction of pain by another – against these conditions I and those around me seem to remain as stalwart and composed as Winston Churchill. But up against the demonstrated love of Christ at work in the life of another, there is no defense, there is no composure, there is only real naked emotional response. Against this there is only tears.

To be so deeply moved from love I must believe is a side-effect of submitting the will to Christ. It must be part of the process He is enacting in our lives as we allow Him – to mold our hearts, to realign our priorities, to see with His eyes rather than our own. I did not expect this work to have the effects it has. I did not expect to find it so difficult to maintain my own composure when sighting the examples of His great love for us. A year ago I would have labeled this behavior as some form of mass psychosis. I would have used logic to attribute it to real issues such as long term unemployment or under-employment; economic hardship; political turmoil. There are a myriad of real stressors in the world that one could blame for men breaking down.

But living inside this experience I can attest to none of these reasons. The timing does not work, for it is not when hardship presses in that the tears begin to flow. It is the gentleness, the beauty, the intimacy, the care, and the life altering effects of His love demonstrated in the life of another, or even in my own, that moves me beyond my composure. I am becoming a small child once again, perhaps too small. I thought the council Christ gave about becoming a little child to enter into Heaven meant the average mental age might be 7 or 8. For me it appears to be more like 2 or 3. Fully dependent, fully vulnerable, fully trusting – perhaps one must be younger in order to truly achieve these conditions.

For so many years we are taught to rely on ourselves. We are taught to look out for number one, as nobody else will. But these teachings run counter to the wisdom of scripture which offers us a completely different view of the world. Don’t worry about what you wear, eat, or need - seek Christ first. Do not carry your own burdens – give them to Christ so He can carry them FOR you. You need merely accept the GIFT of salvation, there is nothing for you to earn or do to be saved from evil accept allowing God to save you from it. Submission of the will, is the start of the real change in your life. But now I realize it is not just behavior that He intends to change. It is the vision we see life by. It is how we see things like grief and love. And in so doing, the unexpected becomes the norm.

We do not know, what we do not know, but our gentle Lord does. As He continues to mold our hearts, I pray for the humility to accept the changes He proposes and enacts. I pray for the humility to see myself as a mere toddler in His world, and extend my arms outstretched to Him in response. For I can think of no better place than to be carried in the arms of our Savior; and I can think of no better way to see purest love than through the eyes of its originator …